First Date Questions

A recently divorced friend of mine introduced me to her new beau. I regret that I did not seize the opportunity to grill the guy. I have my friend's best interest at heart, and later suggested some questions she might pose to her new suitor. I offer them here, as a service to the dating public. The questions can be modified for men or women:

1. Have you ever been convicted of a felony?
1A. If yes, have you ever violated your probation?
1B. If no, why weren't you caught?
2. If I were to become disfigured, would you still want to date me?
3. How come you didn't get in to Harvard?
4. If I needed a kidney and yours was a perfect match, would you donate it to me?
5. Do you work on your own car?
6. Have you ever had a manicure? (to be asked of men)
7. Have you ever worn a dress?
8. For heterosexuals: Do you think you might be gay? ("Not that there's anything wrong with that.")
8A. For gays and lesbians: Do you think you could be straight? ("Not that there's anything wrong with that.")
9. Why have you never been married?
10. Why don't you like [add your pet's species here]?
11. Does it bother you that I make more money than you do?
11A. Why don't you make more money than I do?
12. Can you afford me?
13. Why do you still live with your parents?
14. Who did you vote for in the last presidential election?
15. Are those real?