Looking for spirituality in all the wrong places

When we take our son to Sunday school, we'll often stay for the service that begins the kids' morning. The more I sit, the more reject any religious aspect of Judaism I might hang my proverbial hat on. I've searched the prayer book for signs that I'm welcome, though after the two or three thought provoking meditations, I mainly find references to ancient men and a masculine deity. It probably doesn't help that I've become more interested in learning about the sacred goddess. Nor does it help that the rabbi is checking his Blackberry while the cantor directs the children in song. I do like the bagels, though.